Assume The Perpendicular

Slip on your Barber jacket, jump in my old MG

We’re off to the depths of Somerset to see what we can

see see see

We don’t wanna drink the cider, we don’t wanna walk for

miles

We just want to go to a stately home built in the

Georgian style

I can’t abide a horizontal life

It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular

Jump up and down, make complimentary sounds

And talk about nothing in particular

Crunch up the gravel driveway, gasp at the grand facade

Just for today we’re lords and ladies, oh what a gay

charade!

Lavinia loves the lintels - Anna, the architraves

Ben’s impressed by the buttresses thrust up the chapel

knave

I can’t abide a horizontal life

It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular

Jump up and down, make funny little sounds

And talk about nothing in particular

We’ll walk the grounds by Capability Brown

Get lost for days inside the manicured maze

We’ll bump our heads jumping on a four-post bed

And we’ll ride for free

On the ladders round the walls of the circular library

I can’t abide a horizontal life

It’s time to rise, assume the perpendicular

Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds

And talk about nothing in particular

Nothing in particular…