The Boy Least Likely To Is A Machine

I made a machine

Called The Boy Least Likely To.

It feeds me shortbread biscuits,

And it makes my little dreams come true.

It thinks for me,

And everything I used to do it does for me,

It's made of aluminum,

And it runs off pencil batteries.

I know that it makes me happy,

But something about it frightens me.

I made a machine

To make my life easier,

But it's made it more complicated

Than it ever was before.

I programmed it

To simulate the feelings that I used to get.

It reads me bedtime stories,

And it makes me feel human again.

It doesn't have to understand

What it's doing,

And it does everything

A human being can.

It stores my thoughts and feelings

In its database.

I tell it things,

When I'm feeling sad.

Sometimes it the only

Real friend that I have,

And that's what makes me sad.

I made a machine

Called The Boy Least Likely To.

It has lots of switches and buttons,

But I don't know what they do.

I know it can't

Understand the intricacies of my heart,

But when I cuddle up to it

It comes to life in my arms.

I know that it makes me happy,

But something about it frightens me.