Happy Holidays Y'all

There is a Barbie doll in the gravy boat up on mom's TV set

An angel made of Styrofoam holds Rita's cigarette

Santa waves an empty beer in his plastic hand

Everyone is here again, it's Christmastime again

You know the kids are in their sleepin' bags with every kind of toy

And Ken and Kay have hit the hay in dad's new La-Z-Boy

Fran has got a cozy spot beneath the Christmas tree

Sittin' in his underwear, drunk as he can be

Last night we stuffed our stockings and hung the mistletoe

When Santa Claus came knocking, he looked like Uncle Joe

Someone put the coffee on and find the Tylenol

Merry Christmas everyone, Happy Holidays y'all

Of course old dad got mom a flannel robe and Ken a socket set

Mom got Kay a super value pack of Nicorette

And Kay got Ken a NordicTrack and a new guitar for me

Ken got sister Spanish speaking lessons on CD

Last night we all sang Jingle Bells and opened up our hearts

This morning our house looks like hell or possibly Wal-Mart

Someone clean the gravy boat and dress the Barbie doll

Merry Christmas everyone, Happy Holidays y'all

We're makin' mimosas on the deck and packin' the U-haul

Merry Christmas everyone, God bless us one and all