Todd the T1000

Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9 that we used to call Jane

Really good at cleaning and we got along fine so I couldn't complain

Lately she'd been getting tangled up in the shag rug

And finally one wheel just wouldn't spin

So we said our goodbyes and I traded her in

This new one's kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside with his idiot grin

He's head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide under translucent skin

Sometimes he'll stand for hours looking into the mirror

And flexing like some guy at the gym

And I'm easily ten inches shorter than him

Todd the T1000 scares me

I don't think he knows I've got a right to exist

And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me

And when I look over he is making a fist

One finger at a time

I ask him if he'll vacuum and he doesn't respond, but I know that he heard

I turn and catch him looking when he thinks that I've gone and he flips me the bird

I asked him when we started, please stay out of the bedroom

But I don't think I'm safe anywhere

When I wake in the dark I can tell that he's there

Todd the T1000 scares me

I don't think he knows I've got a right to exist

And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me

And when I look over he is making a fist

One finger at a time

So I live like a ghost while he's living like me

It's not my house anymore

And I sneak out the door while he's watching TV

Head down to the cyborg store

I get some new arms installed at the store

Buy the biggest ones I can

Head back to my house, Todd answers the door

He sees more than just a man

My right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree and the left one's a saw

I cut the couch in half and then I smash the TV with my big smashy claw

He's standing still and silent, I can't tell what he's thinking

He blinks a single glowing red eye

So I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cry

Todd the T1000 scares me

But I think he knows I've got a right to exist

And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me

But when he looks over I am making a fist

One finger at a time