Stuck In Daily Mail Land

You won't believe what I read in the paper this morning,

But it's true, there's no smoke without fire, their reporting never fails,

I just can't wait till it drops through the box in the morning,

It's my treat for the day, with the wife, she's still yawning,

As we read everyday, it's the truth, no distorting, never tales,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

But you don't understand,

Some people knock it, I know, but for me it's the bible,

I believe every word guarantees my survival, I'm a fan,

I just don't care what the say, just be sure I don't listen,

To the lies that they say, that the paper's on a mission,

Cause the wife and me agree to ignore all the negatives we can,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

But you don't understand,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

But you don't understand,

I never read all the rest, it's a test of my loyalty,

Don't need any more, I get bored with variety I'm sure,

You know I've read every day, come what may, since my puberty,

My Ma and my Pa used to swear it's validity,

How can you suggest, or molest, it's sincerity is pure,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

But you don't understand,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

Stuck in Daily Mail Land,

But you don't understand.