Just Rob Me

I met a pretty girl the next town over

Running like a river, thin and long

Other than her dress, she looked mighty well depressed

So I asked this pretty lady what was wrong

She said, "All my life I tried to be an outlaw

I've tried to spit and chew and steal and rob

But I ain't no good at thievin'

So I might as well be leavin'

I think I'm off to go and get a job".

I told that pretty girl, "Don't be so foolish

Don't be so quick to leave this life of crime

Now see, I'll be quick to call it

You can practice on my wallet

And that way if you're caught, you won't do time".

Yeah, just rob me!

Just rob me!

A pretty face like yours don't come for free

If I can call you honey

Well, then you can take my money

Oh, darlin' keep my gun and just rob me

Yeah, just rob Sean Watkins

So I saw this girl again a few months later

To see her with my gun was a relief

I said, "Honey, you got attributes

Like lace and lips and high-heeled boots

But dearie, you're just no good at... as a thief".

She said, "Mister, how do you know that I'm failin'?

I might as well rob twenty banks today".

Yeah, so I looked into her eye

And I said "Dear, I'd be surprised,

You're pointing that there gun the wrong way".

Yeah, just rob me!

Just rob me!

Oh, money never did grow up on trees

"Oh, you're no good at crookin'

But you're mighty fine at lookin'".

Darlin', keep my gun and just rob me!

Oh, maybe every woman is an outlaw

I'm pretty sure they're pretty thieves in black

They'll make you scream like smoke!

And then they'll rob you broke!

I suppose you don't mind being robbed like that

So, my pretty thief and I started a family

My outlaw's been givin' me in-laws

Oh, she kept her thievin' art

And sure as rain, she stole my heart

She tells me it's all for a worthy cause

Yeah, just rob me!

Just rob me!

Deep down my darlin' is a thief

Oh, she may do the dishes

But I pay her for my kisses

I know it's not malicious

She's just in the thievin' business

She calls herself my Misses

But she's got me by the britches

I say honey, keep my gun and just rob me!