Going Through Changes

I'm going through changes

I'm going through changes

Lately I really, feel like I'm rolling for like Philly

I feel like I'm losing control of myself, I sincerely

I apologize if all that I sound like, is I'm complaining

But life keeps on complicating and I'm debating

On leaving this world, this evening, even my girls

Can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it

But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty

When inside, I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help

I can't do it by myself

Too weak, 2 weeks I've been having ups and downs

Going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying

Around with the idea of ending the shit right here

I'm hatin' my reflection, I walk around the house tryin' to fight mirrors

I can't stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care?

I give a fuck, only thing I fear is Hailie

I'm afraid if I close my eyes I might see her, shit

I'm going through changes

I'm going through changes

I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, nappin' at noon

Yeah, dad's in a bad mood, he's always snappin' at you

Marshall, what happened at you? Can't stop with these pills

And you've fallen off with your skills

And your own fans are laughin' at you

It become a problem you're too pussy to tackle, get up

Be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled

Know you just had your heart ripped out and crushed

They say Proof just flipped out, homie just swift out and bust

Nah, it ain't like Doody to do that

He wouldn't fuckin' shoot at, nobody, he fights first

But dwellin' on it only makes the night worse

Now I'm poppin Vic's, perks and Methadone pills

Yeah 'em, tight verse, you killed it

Fuckin' drug dealers hang around me like yes man

And they gon' do whatever I says when, I says it

It's in their best interest to protect their investment

And I just lost my fuckin' best friend, so fuck it, I guess then

I'm going through changes

I'm going through changes

(Don't know what I'm going through)

(But I just keep on going through changes)

My friends just can't understand this new me

That's understandable man but just think how bananas

You'd be, you'd be an animal too, if you were trapped

In this fame and caged in it like a zoo

And everybody's lookin' at you, what you want me to do?

I'm startin' to live like a recluse and the truth is

Fame startin' to give me an excuse, to be at a all time low

I sit alone in my home theater, watchin' the same damn DVD

Of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive

And it hurt sore, fast forward, sleepin' pills'll make me feel alright

And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night

I just take a couple more, yeah, you're motherfuckin' right

I ain't slowin' down for no one, I am almost homeward bound

Almost in a coma, yeah, homie, come on, don't look now

Daddy, don't you die on me, daddy, better hold your ground

Fuck, don't I know the sound of that voice

Yeah, baby, hold me down

I'm going through changes

I'm going through changes

(Don't know what I'm going through)

(But I just keep on going through changes)

Wake up in the hospital

Full of tubes, plus somehow I'm pullin' through

Swear when I come back I'ma be bulletproof

I'ma do it just for Proof, I think I should state a few

Facts 'cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth

Shit it just hit me that what if I would notta made it through?

I think about the things I would never got to say to you

I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do

Hailie this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too

I still love your mother, that'll never change

Think about her every day, we just could never get it together

Hey, wish there was a better way, for me to say it

But I swear on everything, I'd do anything for her on any day

There are just too many things to explain, when it rains

Guess it pours, yes it does, wish there wasn't any pain

But I can't pretend there ain't, I ain't placin' any blame

I ain't pointin' fingers, heaven knows there never been a saint

I know it just feels like we just pissed away our history

And just today, I looked at your picture, almost hate to say

I miss you self consciously, wish it didn't end this way

But I just had to get away, don't know why

I don't know what else to say, I guess I'm

I'm going through changes

I'm going through changes

(Don't know what I'm going through)

(But I just keep on going through changes)