Mambo No. Sex

Oh I had sex with Max but it was too complex

And he has just knocked me off my legs

Cos he had sex with his ex

I went to bed with Fred - It was so sad

Cos all I had from Mister Fred

He got my dreams all wet

So I had sex on the phone

It went on and on and on

But it shakes me on the bone now that I'm alone

Don't need no Willy no Fred no Max

Just Mambo No Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex

Touch me baby

Mambo Number Sex

Mambo Number Sex

I had some fun with Dr Dick

He showed me a new trick

But babe he made me sick

He always came to quick

Checked it out with Fritz

Man he was a blitz

I know how that fits - his wife had seven kids

I went with Howard - the coward

But we got in a jam

Cos he didn't give a damn

He was scared of Uncle Sam

So Fred go to bed and Max grab your ex

I'll take Mambo No Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex

Touch me baby

Mambo Number Sex

Mambo Number Sex

I don't wanna tango

No cha cha cha no twist

And I don't wanna samba and fandango

I just want to be kissed

Oh I don't wanna do the bossa nova

No jitterbug with Max

The only thing that gets me off the sofa

Is Mambo No Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex

Touch me baby

Mambo Number Sex

Mambo Number Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex