Tommy C

In recent year there's been a lot of pop acts singing about being beautiful

Or someone or something being beautiful.

Now, I know this ain't a new thing but it just feels as if these

People don't really know what beauty is and by bandying it around so often

It starts to loose all meaning and worth.

You see "beauty" and "beautiful" are powerful words.

It's more than just a physical thing.

It's more than just a nice pair of tits.

Bring the beat in and let me tell them what I think beauty is...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,

I was lucky enough to be near her so I told her.

Funnily enough I missed the freckles on her shoulder,

And that even on the hottest of nights her skin was colder. [x2]

Now for me to get my definition of beauty across to ya

I must request your attention for the immediate future

It won't take so long as to put you in a catatonic stupor

As I present my case study example: Tommy Cooper.

If you haven't heard of Tommy I'll do my best to explain.

Tommy Cooper was in the entertainment game

Every granddad in Britain can do a Tommy Cooper impression

With a selection of gags, hand movements and facial expressions

His uniform was a suit and a red fez hat

He would combine jokes and magic tricks "just like that"

He'd drift between the two with the most cack handed transition

He was two part comedian and one part magician

Mistakes and mess-ups were a bit part of his show

Which were real and which were planned only he would know

If he messed up or a certain joke bombed

He would start laughing at himself and soon the laughs would catch on

See Tommy gave no regard to class or grace

His only goal was to put a smile on every single face

All his life Tommy lived to just make people laugh

Whether onstage or at home he would just be acting daft

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,

I was lucky enough to be near her so I told her.

Funnily enough I missed the freckles on her shoulder,

And that even on the hottest of nights her skin was colder. [x2]

Whether it appropriate or not become somehow unconnected

Because making people laugh was his only objective

But there's one thing in life no man can avoid

This thing will leave the hearts of loved ones empty and void.

Death will ALWAYS cause hurt and pain

It can take weeks before a smile is on your face again

Sure where reminiscing there can be great happiness

But at the immediate time there's just searing pain and nothing less.

On April 15th, 1984

The London Pallaium was the scene of Tommy's show once more

It was a full house and he had the crowd eating out of his hand.

Everything, as usual, seemed completely unplanned

And in what seemed like a finale Tommy dropped to the floor

Causing the room to erupt into laughter and applause

The curtain closed, lights went out and there was no encore

Everybody left their seats and headed for the door

Unbeknownst to them they had witness Tommy Cooper's death

He had given his all until he had nothing left

Now please note that at the moment that this entertainer died

Even with a room full of people not one tear was cried

Much less, they rose to their feet and they laughed and clapped

Now tell me one fucking thing that's more beautiful than that...

Cos' I'm sure I can't think of one.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,

I was lucky enough to be near her so I told her.

Funnily enough I missed the freckles on her shoulder,

And that even on the hottest of nights her skin was colder. [x4]