Dead men tell no tales

Dead men tell no tales

Dead men don't try to blackmail

They smell bad and they're kind of pale

Dead men tell no tales

“Hey Joe, remember that so and so?”

Yeah, I know that stiff, I’ll see him in hell

“Was he in D.O.A.?” That's what they say

But he was never the same after that fateful day

It was kind of messy, he bled pretty bad

And the way he twitched, I thought he was mad

But I had to make sure, he wasn't in pain

So I backed up the van and squished him again

Dead men tell no tales

Dead men don't try to blackmail

They smell bad and they're kind of pale

Dead men tell no tales

“Hey Joe, remember those scummy promoters on the east coast?”

Which ones? “The ones you wanted to toast”

Yea, they ripped us off and stole our van

They got the cops, to throw us in the can

I was out for a beer when I saw those two

I could see they were looking for a band to screw

But out in the alley, I caught 'em alone

Couldn't hear the chainsaw

When they screamed and they moaned

Dead men tell no tales

Dead men don't try to blackmail

Can't rip ya off or drink your beer

Dead men tell no tales

I really don’t remember how, it all seems kinda foggy now

What a great, great bunch of guys, but somehow they started dropping like flies

There was the one that fell off the cliff

I thought it might happen to that son of a bitch

There was poison and knives and the hangman’s noose

Pass the potatoes, gonna cook his goose

Dead men tell no tales

Dead men don't try to blackmail

They smell bad and they're kind of pale

Dead men tell no tales

Dead men tell no tales

Dead men don't try to blackmail

They can't rip ya off when they're 6 feet under

Dead men tell no tales

No tales (3x)