Third Rock From Her Thumb

Don't tell her what it's worth, third rock from her thumb

Well, he walks in the pawn shop, one thing on his mind

Wants to buy a diamond but he doesn't have a dime

He finds the one he likes and they cut him quite a deal

A two carat solitaire but neither one's real

Picks up the pay phone, puts it to his ear

Calls his chick, collect and says, "Get over here"

When he shows his girlfriend, she can't believe her eyes

She never thought she'd ever really get one that size

He tries to think of somethin' when she asked him "where'd you get it?"

Down at diffie's pawn but he never will admit it

He tries to change the subject, "Forget the wedding list

Let's head on out to Vegas and get it over with"

Flaws and defects, no billing ads

Hope she never finds out how much he spent

Nothin' else shines like a zirconia

Don't tell her what it's worth, third rock from her thumb

Just outside of Vegas, the truck gets a flat

She says, "We woulda made it if you weren't so doggone fat"

They try to hitch a ride from some hippies in a van

To a ratty little motel called 'The S and M grand'

Puts on her little nightie, gives him a little wink

Ring slips off her finger, down the bathroom sink

She starts to call a plumber, he begins to shout

"Give me a coat-hangar, I think I can get it out"

Fishes out the ring in a big ball of hair

Slips it on her finger as he pats her derriere

Thinkin' to himself, "It's a lucky thing

A plumber woulda cost me much more than that ring"

Flaws and defects, no billing ads

Hope she never finds out how much he spent

Nothin' else shines like a zirconia

Don't tell her what it's worth, third rock from her thumb

Flaws and defects, no billing ads

Hope she never finds out how much I spent

Nothin' else shines like a zirconia

Don't tell her what it's worth, third rock from her thumb

Wonder what it's worth, third rock from her thumb

Don't tell him what it's worth, third rock from her thumb