Quit Teasin' Me Ed

Hey Cledus, Whad'ya get in the mail?

He-he-he, got a letter from Ed.

What's it say?

I don't know. D'you get one?

Well, open it up!

He-hahahahahahaha!

...Open it.

I quit my job about a year ago, I'm on a permanent vacation

All I gotta do now is sit back and wait'll my notification

You see, old Ed, he's a friend of mine, and he writes me once a week

Sends me my very own winnin' numbers

I'm practically on easy street

Well, I don't know, I reckon Ed just likes me a little better'n everybody else

I'm sure he's been tryin' to reach me,

But uh, I've been out on tour with Garth Brooks. He-hehehehe

Now, you might think pricin' a Mercedes might be a jumpin' the gun

But hey, I got a letter from Ed today that said I may've already won!

Quit teasin me Ed

...Quit teasin me Ed

My kids need to be fed

...My kids need to be fed

I believed what you said

...I believed what you said

Quit teasin' me Ed

You promised me wealth

...You promised me wealth

And a new Dodge Stealth

...And a new Dodge Stealth

I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead

...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead

Quit teasin' me Ed

They say the odds are again' me

But I got my own little scheme

Instead of just one or two, I order All the magazines!

I get Glamour, Cosmo, Redbook, Seventeen, Good Housekeepin', and Popular Mechanics

I even got bored one time and ordered The Joy Of Ceramics!

Now Ed, I can't sing or dance, and I'll never be on Star Search

But if you don't hurry up 'n send my check, I'm gonna start thinkin' you a jerk

Well, not really Ed, doggonnit it's been such a long time

My car's been repo'd, my house note's four month's behind

Ed, I don't mean to complain, and I know you're a busy man

But, could you at least send me one of them early entry prizes

I'm you're biggest fan, I swear!

Quit teasin' me Ed

...Quit teasin' me Ed

My kids need to be fed

...My kids need to be fed

I believed what you said

...I believed what you said

Quit teasin' me Ed

You promised me wealth

...You promised me wealth

And a new Dodge Stealth ...And a new Dodge Stealth

I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead

...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead

Quit teasin' me Ed

Cledus T., you may have already won!