Goodbye Squirrel

Be very very quiet, we are huntin' somethin'

Me and Harold Muffert were outdoors men

Set in our backwoods ways

Both members of the huntin' club

Both active in the NRA

(National Redneck Association)

We scouted a location where we had no doubt

We'd kill the biggest buck in the world

(About a 34 pointer)

Harold waited in his tree stand

But all he seen was a squirrel

Dang near two weeks since the season started

And neither one of us was amused

We had on real tree cameo, high-powered ammo

But no big game to shoot

Then we finally saw a deer as big as a horse

Harold had him in his cross hairs

(Shoot him!)

But that squirrel jumped off of a branch above us

And landed in Harold's hair

(What is that thing, get it out!)

Harold fell off the stand

On his head he landed

Like a wimp he laid there cryin'

Till I climbed on down

Picked him up off the ground

And it didn't take us long to decide

That squirrel had to die

Goodbye squirrel, with black-eyed peas

You're gonna taste good to me squirrel

It's you or me

Come on out of that tree squirrel

Hey, guess what

You've eaten your last nut squirrel

Me and Harold went down to the surplus store

Bought a keg of dynamite

Two baseball bats and a case of M-80's

We were in for one heck of a fight

(We'll show you)

When you're huntin' with dumb and dumber

Something's surely bound to go wrong

(Now be careful)

And when Harold lit that real short fuse

I knew it wouldn't be long

When the dynamite blew

Harold's foot did too

And fingers began to fly

(Fly, fly)

We were barely alive

When the Game Warden arrived

And much to our surprise

That squirrel didn't die

(Gosh)

Goodbye squirrel

Just one more shot

You'll be in my crock pot, squirrel

You'll make a lunch

You overgrown chipmunk, squirrel

I'll skin you hide

And make a hat when it's dry, squirrel

Dadblame Earl, my gosh

Ronnie Milsap could shoot better than you

You gimme, I said, "Gimme, gimme that gun"

Look out, look out, [Incomprehensible]

I think I killed somethin'