Ever So Clear

See, most of my life I never had shit

I felt like an outcast, treated like a misfit

Damn near didn't make it on my day of birth

Thinking was I really supposed to be on this planet earth

I take a deep breath, and then another follows

'cause hardship is kinda hard to swallow

See, it's rough bein a loner

Not knowin any given day and time I could wind up a goner

See, people got it bad from jump street

And bein short is just another strike against me

I used to get funny looks 'cause I was small

And tryin to make it was like runnin through a brick wall

Given the odds I was up against, bro

The average nigga woulda quit a long time ago

But now I've got a record out

I'm doin shows, people payin to see me turn it out

Now I'm the spice around town

It's funny how an album can change a nigga's life around

I got friends and bitches on my dick

But when they look at Richard all they see is Bushwick

Sometimes I don't know a friend from a foe

And every different day it's a different fuckin hoe

And now that my pockets are gettin bigger

I'm meetin hoes who only want to juice a nigga

They tell me that they love me and all that

But really they just wait for me to fall flat

So they can get me for my income

Take me for all I got, and then some

Like Trina, you dig

I fucked up and got too attached to the bitch's kid

Knowin that she used the baby to use me

Took him out my life, mentally abusin me

But as the time went by I got another slimmy

And she was just like the first one screamin gimme

But not in the exact same way

She had a different type of game she liked to play

Her name was Crystal, she played the quiet type

And for a little while shit seemed alright

But just like the first hoe, homie

When shit got hectic the bitch broke out on me

And it's gettin outta hand, gee

'cause nobody seems to understand me

Reminiscin got me feelin kinda low

I broke out the Ever-Clear and then I drunk some mo'

Until it was all gone

Now I'm lookin for somebody to take my pain out on

But not just anybody, gee

I'ma take that on to Mica 'cause she's the closest to me

Full of that Ever-Clear and high on that buddah

Get to the house all I'm thinkin bout is shootin her

'cause shootin her would be sweet

But you know what'd be sweeter? if I make her shootin me

Call me crazy, but that's what I'm thinkin

I'm trippin from all that smokin weed and drinkin

But I knew she wouldn't do it on her own, so I provoked her

Punched her, kicked her, and chocked her

She still wouldn't grab the gun

And at that time I wasn't thinkin about no one

Damn near crazy I went and grabbed the baby

Held him by the door and said i'ma throw his ass out, hoe

She went to cryin, somebody stop him

I said: you better grab the muthafuckin gun or i'ma drop him

She snatched the baby out of my hands

We started fighting, punching, scratching, and biting

When we fell on the bed, check this shit

All kinds of crazy shit was goin through my head

So I ran and got the gun and came back to her

Loaded it up and handed the gat to her

I grabbed her hand and placed the gun to my eye muscle

She screamed stop and then we broke into another tussle

Yo, durin the fight the gun went off quick

Damn! aw shit, I'm hit

(Aw... my eye, I can't see

Why you shot me in the eye?

I woulda shot you in the body

Why you shot me in the eye?)

Ridin in the ambulance everything is hectic

I can't get a grip, I just can't check this

Everybody's cryin, could it be I'm dyin

Bullet in my head, in the bed was lyin

Where's Mica? I want to tell her I love her

With an [ ] in my arm I took a picture for an album cover

Goddamn, the shit's a trip, gee

Five different doctors with needles tryin to stick me

I hear my family hollerin he needs us

Durin the confusion, man, I seen jesus

My mom's on the phone long-distance from New York

Here comes the doctors again tryin to rip me apart

I got a monkey on my back, I can't shake it

I'm havin suicidal thoughts hopin that I don't make it

But I'ma make it 'cause something's steady urgin me

Five hours passed, I made it through surgery

And the doctor said I wouldn't make it through the night

But god told me everything is gonna be alright

And I'm glad that I'm here, gee

But it's fucked up I had to lose an eye to see shit clearly

Aw man, I made it

I made it

And everyone gets to hear my story

I made it

But don't try this at your home

Learn from my mistakes

Kick the beat in, Bido