When I Paint My Masterpiece

Oh, the streets of Rome are filled with rubble,

Ancient footprints are everywhere.

You can almost think that you're seein' double

On a cold, dark night on the Spanish Stairs.

Got to hurry on back to my hotel room,

Where I've got me a date with Botticelli's niece.

She promised that she'd be right there with me

When I paint my masterpiece.

Oh, the hours I've spent inside the Coliseum,

Dodging lions and wastin' time.

Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle, I could hardly stand to see 'em,

Yes, it sure has been a long, hard climb.

Train wheels runnin' through the back of my memory,

When I ran on the hilltop following a pack of wild geese.

Someday, everything is gonna be smooth like a rhapsody

When I paint my masterpiece.

Sailin' 'round the world in a dirty gondola.

Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola!

I left Rome and landed in Brussels,

On a plane ride so bumpy that I almost cried.

Clergymen in uniform and young girls pullin' muscles,

Everyone was there to greet me when I stepped inside.

Newspapermen eating candy

Had to be held down by big police.

Someday, everything is gonna be diff'rent

When I paint my masterpiece.