Binary Reality

We live in a binary reality. We do.

It's a world of black and white.

There's only two types of people in this world:

Those who can finish lists

What is art? You know. What is art?

Is art something gay people do to get back at their fathers? ... Could be.

What is an artist?

What makes a great artist? You know. ... Great artists, like myself,

Like the great director Michael Bay,

Like the great Irish actor Shaquille O'Neal?

We ask questions.

You know, questions nobody else dares to ask

Questions like

Where are all the Sour Patch Parents?

Questions like if Mickey's a mouse, and Minnie's a mouse, and Donald's a duck, and Daisy and Goofy, if they're all animals and they can talk

Why is Pluto just a fucking dog?

Did they just forget to anthropomorphize him or, worse, is Mickey keeping him mentally handicapped to stay a pet?

I'm not, how does that fit in to that universe, that paradigm

Goofy's a dog, he's talking

This one, crawling around

Guys, you got tight, I would never bash Disney

Never

Ever

I think Disney teaches girls

Young girls such important lessons that princess fairy tales, you know like

Cinderella: It doesn't matter where you come from or how poor you are, you know, as long as you're incredibly hot

Snow White: Which encourages children to

You know, give midgets nicknames

Sleeping Beauty: You know, which encourages, um

Date rape, maybe not

Maybe not that one

I was doing a show recently on the border of, uh, Hannah Montana and South Dakota Fanning

And after the show

After the show, a guy came up to me

And said, "Bo, why don't you ever tell stories on-stage about people coming up to you after the shows?"

And I said, "'Cause they're never funny"

I've always wanted a black girlfriend

Not as, you know, 'cause like

I don't know, h-how, how do I put this?

When we 69, I can call it "yin-yanging"

Um

It's not a, it's not racist

Guys, it's 21st Century racism

It's racism in light of itself

The only reason I'm saying these things

Is because the stigmas about race are already there

And I'm just playing off of that

And they understand that

So, if, after the show,

You see like a black guy beating me up,

He's doing it ironically, okay?

Get your story straight