Goodbye

I sit I'm my room claustrophobic,

As I watch the walls breath succumbing to self pity,

And these voices wont leave.

I got a revolver in my hand with six chambers and they all full,

Every bullet contradicts the contemplation of suicide.

I wanna die.

So I sit and clinch my bible until my palms sweat,

And blister, cause I hate my sister.

First I'm gonna light a candle in the form of a seance,

And see the light on the wall reflect all this childhood neglect.

I cock the hammer,

I let the steel touch my tongue and taste the metal for the first time,

I see the faces of my loved ones, but fuck a note,

Cause when I do it,

I want it to be a mystery,

And let them feel the same pain that I felt, this is the remedy.

Goodbye, sad days,

I'd rather sleep my life away goodbye, heartbreak,

I found my own way, suicide

I get on my knees and say a prayer,

I tell god that I cant handle all this pressure,

I wanna kick it up there.

Why should I wanna live?

When my mother used to molest me in front of my stepfather,

She beat me and he undressed me, see.

He took my manhood before I became a man,

So now I sit here at 16 with this gun in my hand.

Death is the only way out,

The murder of myself will show em all the there's a way out,

I cry for my soul.

Depression has taken a toll on my every existence,

So when I think of humiliation I can't breathe, its time to leave.

Cause I'm gone show what you did,

For tormenting me as a kid, you raised me,

Now look what I did

I don't wanna die,

I wanna breathe again,

I don't wanna have to say

My soul is slipping away,

I don't wanna leave,

Not in this way