Ghosts On Retinas

What am I waiting for

What do I hope to find

Lying here inside my mind

So much scattered energy

Falling in between

Focusing on how I hurt

Introvert

I search my heart I search my soul

A bust without console

I search the ground I search for more

I just can't find the door

I can't decide I can't control

I lost control

I have no faith I have no goal

I have nothing

Nothing to explore

Paralyzed from the neck up

No twinkle in my eye

And I have no devotion

No chills down my spine

Paralyzed but in slow motion

Like a zombie

I keep on moving round and round

Making sure I can't be found

Panic rising from inside

Adrenaline set in

Still I won't move an inch

The world outside passes me by

With the blinding speed of light

Captured ghosts on retinas

Fading out

I never laugh I never feel

It's hard to conceal

I never hurt I never heal

What is fake, what's for real

I don't believe I believe

I would've never believed

I would never believe again

I don't believe this

Believe me I never would've believed

You'd believe me if I told you how

If I told you how I feel

Paralyzed from the neck up

No twinkle in my eye

And I show no emotion

No tears fall at goodbye

Paralyzed like from some potion

I'm gripped by this stunning notion

A sensation so profound

I cannot make a sound

Apathy spreads fast through me

Like gangrene dark and cold

Life and death entangled

Infection growing sore

We all know the outcome

From that struggle in the past

So what am I waiting for