How You Gonna Keep 'Em Down on the Farm

Reuben, Reuben, I've been thinking

Said his wifey dear

Now that all is peaceful and calm

The boys will soon be back on the farm

Mister Reuben started winking and slowly rubbed his chin

He pulled his chair up close to mother

And he asked her with a grin

How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm

After they've seen Paree'

How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway

Jazzin around and paintin' the town

How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm, that's a mystery

They'll never want to see a rake or plow

And who the deuce can parleyvous a cow?

How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm

After they've seen Paree'

Rueben, Rueben, you're mistaken

Said his wifey dear

Once a farmer, always a jay

And farmers always stick to the hay

Mother Reuben, I'm not fakin

Tho you may think it strange

But wine and women play the mischief

With a boy who's loose with change

How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm

After they've seen Paree'

How ya gonna keep 'em away from Broadway

Jazzin around and paintin' the town

How ya gonna keep 'em away from harm, that's a mystery

Imagine Reuben when he meets his Pa

He'll pinch his cheek and holler "OO-LA-LA!

How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm

After they've seen Paree'?