Green Pea Soup

If Linda Blair was my Lolita, her head would spin.

She would levitate, vomit green,

beat a priest - what a teen!

Dick Clark would grin.

And foul things'd spurt without discretion

from her tiny mouth.

She'd say: Spank me, spank me, spank me DADDY!

Mommy's in bandages 'n' smoking too,

she doesn't like it when I tell her to.

I don't know what's come over me.

I'm not myself today,

Linda's all the rage -

the Devil's underage.

Get that cross right out of there girl,

You don't know where it's been.

You're 13, underage, into bondage.

It's just a phase.

You're too young to sin,

speak in tongues backwards in Latin.

Let me hear you say:

Spank me, spank me, spank me DADDY!

Comin' downstairs just to piss on the rug,

she's gonna get all my gnarly love.

I don't know what's come over me.

I'm not myself today,

Linda's all the rage -

The Devil's underage.

The power of Christ compels you.