An Englishman in New York

Demented New York athletes staggering 'round the block

Deformed Chicanos pour in, Chicago's rolling stock

Digital bathrooms drilling for furs

Surgical stockings marked his and hers

Guggenheim attitudes back to back with Jewish Baroque

No way street, no way street, no way street

Happy to see you, have a nice day

Defecting Russian dancers dance into Hockney prints

Exclusive to Bloomingdales, gift-wrapped in red from the land of blue rinse

They boggle at menus in Olde English verse

"Ode to burger" by Keats at his worst

The hissing of omelettes, the breaking of legs

Don't shoot 'till you see the whites of their eggs

The pink fillet mignon looks black on the negs

Strange apparatus, you've never seen

Strange apparatus, even stranger theme

Street alligators, big Anglophile will navigate us through a change of style

I came, I saw, what manner of beast is this?

New York, you talk a little bit left of centre

A scream, a shout

New York is throwing it's weight around

Walk tall, walk straight, spit the world right in the eye

The stronger the wood, the straighter the arrow

Dismembered hopeful My-Lai veterans queuing for sleaze

"Sorry no dogs, no fags, no shriners and no amputees"

Sexual athlete applies for audition

Willing to make it in any position

Just one of the extras with blood on their faces

In snow-white and the seven basket cases

I'm happy and dopey and dirty in places

No way street, no way street, no way street

Lock up your daughters, Avon crawling

Devoted collectors of paraphernalia out walking the rock

Battle and bitch for the ultimate kitsch of a crucifix clock

Two miniature romans, running on rails appear every hour and bang in the nails

I've got to have it, Christ, I gotta be the first on our block

Disturbing facts about Nazi splinter groups seen on the news

They're picketing synagogues and claiming that Hitler was King of the Jews

Caught in the tunnel, an ambulance howls

A men's room attendant is flapping his jowls

Ssshh, Howard Johnson is moving his bowels

Strange apparatus, you've never seen

Strange apparatus, even stranger theme

Street alligators, big Anglophile will navigate us through a change of style

Strange apparatus, you've never seen

Strange apparatus, even stranger theme

Walk talk, walk straight, spit the world right in the eye

The stronger the wood, the straighter the arrow

No way street, no way street, no way street, no way street

No way street, no way street, no way street, no way street