My Friend Chris

The first sin that once told

Was to my parents at ten years old

I stole somethin' I'll admit it

But not to priests or crucifixes

Me and my best friend Chris

Built our alibis from bricks

And when we were questioned we just read our scripts

"I didn't do it"

The first crime I did commit

Was mischief night with my friend Chris

We packed our bags with toilet paper,

Bars of soap, and egg containers

And we targeted everyone who ever seemed to do us wrong

Oh how the time turns on

And maybe Einstein can express

The formulaic mysteries of time

But I've lost the time

And maybe Kafka was a writer

But I've been living like my name is Samsa

The first time I got my fix

Was with my brother and my friend Chris

Stole my mothers Smirnoff vodka

Mixed it with some cans of Fresca

And we learned how our parents lived

We found that we were good at it

Meet me at the bottom or in between

And maybe Einstein can express

The formulaic mysteries of time

By I've lost the time

And maybe Kafka was a writer

But I've been living like my name is Samsa

See you in hell

I'll see ya when I see ya

(4x)