One's on the Way

They say to have her hair done, Liz flies all the way to France

And Jackie's seen in a Discotecque doin' a brand new dance

And the White House social season should be glitterin' an' gay

But here in Topeka the rain is a fallin'

The faucet is a drippin' and the kids are a-bawlin'

One of 'em a toddlin' and one is a crawlin'

And one's on the way

I'm glad Raquel Welch just signed a million dollar pact

And Debbie's out in Vegas workin' up a brand new act

While the TV's showin' newlyweds, a real fun game to play

But here in Topeka, the screen door's a bangin'

The coffee's boilin' over and the wash needs a hangin'

One wants a cookie and one wants a changin'

And one's on the way

Now what was I doin'? Jimmy get away from there

Darn, there goes the phone

Hello honey, what's that you say?

You're bringin' a few old army buddies home?

You're callin' from a bar?

Get away from there! No, not you honey

I was talkin' to the baby

Wait a minute, honey, the door bell

Honey, could you stop at the market and hello?, hello?

Well, I'll be

The girls in New York City, they all march for women's lib

And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live

And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today

Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin'

The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin'

One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin'

Lord, one's on the way

Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins, again!