1-900 LL Cool J

Yo "Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?"

Yeah whats up? "Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?"

Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey

I motivate, accelerate

Devastate, and dominate

I don't smoke crack so I won't lose weight

Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and I'm straight

Go to a restaurant, give me steak

Then cook my chicken with Shake'n'Bake

I leave all the preaching to Reverend Flake

How much money can one black man make?

I'm what's known as a true dynamiter

I write rhymes fast without a typewriter

Go with the flow, but no, I'm not a biter

Can't compare a cock-a-roach and a spider

Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch

Cause you're biting my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh

And biting my rhymes ain't slick

I got your gold teeth marks all over my

Complications and aggravation

An unnecessary-sation

I'm like Sunkist, good vibrations

Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation

Cool out, grab a seat and listen,

Cause I'ma start dismissing

Sucker MC's who's out there fronting

Talking all that yang, yo you smoking something

Should of treated me royal, yo he wasn't loyal

Now it's all about chaos and turmoil

Gimme that microphone

I'ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone

Yo "Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?"

Yeah whats up? "Can you tell me what you do when you're cooling out?"

Yo check this out

Now when I'm cooling out, no time for a granny

Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties

"Can LL ?" Man, can he?

I tell you what, give up the fanny

Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift

Not too big, but nothing to play with

In addition, you on a mission

You need to audition for another position

Doing damage is a crew tradition

Name your next al-blum intermission

You're full of preservatives, plus,

You're too conservative

I'm full of flair, savor faire, debonair

There's no competition, for this here

So don't waste your time and breath

I'm giving you all a big F

MC's I envelop,

As the song goes on, the rhyme develops

I'm Asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic

You don't want no static

Anyway, I ain't having it!

When I see the microphone, I'm grabbing it

Plug it in and take charge

LL XL, Xtra-Large

Know what I'm saying? Peace

Hello?

Hello whats up girl?

How you doing girl? I been trying to call you all day

Word up I was talking to LL he was kicking

Some mo' hyped up rhymes to me

Word, I spoke to him today too, them rhymes was pumping

Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here

Alright

See-ya