Alien Conspiracy, or, the Cheese Song

There is a reason you see

That I'm thicker in the middle

I could blame it on a bad knee

Maybe just a little

I could blame it on my blue jeans

Or that my wife is such a fine chef

My metabolism 's changing

But I haven't told you yet

It's a magical, mysterious

Hispanically ambiguously glaze

What is that white stuff on my nachos

It's too thin for melted cheese

It's too thick to be just milk

So won't somebody tell me please

What is that white stuff I'm consuming

'Cause it's so consuming me

We'll you know they'll never tell you

'Cause then they'd have to kill you

There's a mother load of cheese-juice

That they found in Matchu Pichu

In the temple of the Incas

There's a fountain flowing cheese dip

And then they smuggle it to Texas

And then they trick us with the free chips

It's mind control in a salsa bowl

I'm not even sure I remember how I got here

Well give me some of that white stuff on my nachos

It's too thin for melted cheese

It's too thick to be just milk

In its sublime consistency

What is that white stuff I'm consuming

'Cause it's so consuming me

So this is sort of a love song

It's a kind of confession

As for me ya see I'm long gone

So consider this a lesson

They wanna make us into zombies

Lurch into La Hacienda

To gobble up the Chimmy Chongas

That isn't how you wanna end up

But Mexico remembers the Alamo

And the ghost of Montezuma 's on the move

He's taken over with the white stuff on my nachos

It's too thin for melted cheese

It's too thick to be just milk

So won't somebody tell me please

What is that white stuff I'm consuming

'Cause it's so consuming me

What is that white stuff won't somebody please

What is that white stuff won't somebody please

What is that white stuff

I don't care, just pass the cheese